Of Flowers and Red Wine
by victoria-kat
Summary: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.
1. Chapter 1

**~ Of flowers and red wine ~**

**Summary**: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.

xxx

Fixing non-existent, imaginary wrinkles in her Marc Jacobs fitting burgundy dress; Blair Waldorf descended the stairs of her penthouse fully aware that all set of eyes would be fixated on her.

Slowly, but steadily, she strolled down the hall towards her fiancée, sharing fake smiles and a polite word here and there with familiar or strange faces. She couldn't care less for the attendees; they were mostly Chuck's associates after all whom she knew very little or not at all. Gradually, with grace, she had greeted the majority of the guests and she then proceeded to the bar in order to suit herself to a drink. If she was lucky, she could have two before a random person came to annoy her with their presence.

Taking a sip from her crimson Merlot and then some, Blair allowed her stare to wander over the rim of her glass to the chattering crowd and began scanning their smiling faces just to amuse herself with their figures. They really were a bunch of idiots; not unlike herself in some aspects, she thought scathingly with a casual shrug of her shoulders, barely containing the smirk that came immediately to her lips.

She rarely allowed herself to go there, but tonight, blame the meaningless party, her mood or even her glass of wine, she thought she needed to revisit that particular memory and toss it around in her head a bit.  
If someone had asked her a year ago, she would have reasoned that her choice to pursue Chuck Bass -and leave Dan Humphrey - had been triggered by her heart's deepest desire, but now, a year later and some safe time ahead, she would allow herself to admit that no matter what her reasoning had been, the decision had been a wrong one and one she had regretted ever since.

The past year had been awful; a stubborn effort to support her decision, although it had been painfully clear to her, almost since the beginning, that whatever it was that she and Chuck shared, was basically physical and nowhere near good or solid enough to build a relationship upon it. The relationship she had in mind at least. Trying to prove to herself and everyone else that Chuck and her could work had been pointless and futile. Passion and good sex aside, all that was left behind was emptiness and self-disgust. Self-disgust because she would allow herself to succumb to Chuck's beck and call each time, putting aside her own life and sacrificing her self-respect.

Beside him she had become a spineless woman, the type she had always despised. She had become silent; cause she knew her and Chuck shared only one common interest and that was the power to influence things; a topic which didn't really need further discussion, especially due to the fact that Chuck wanted to keep a reign over her too and vice versa. She had lost herself in a way, not to mention her peers and friends. And her goals in life were thrown out of the window, what with helping Chuck overcome his family issues or even assisting him to the running of the Empire.

A man's woman, that was what she was those days and she hated the statement with every fiber of her being.

Sometimes she wondered how would her life be had she chosen to stay with Dan and try it out. She even wondered what it would be like if she at least still were friends with him, because she didn't even have that anymore these days.  
At first she didn't dare think of Humphrey and especially to give a name to the emotions related, cause that would have made it seem too real. But now, after all this time, she knew it was futile to deny the fact that she had missed Dan Humphrey. So very much.

They way he would laugh at her when she offered a witty insult or the way his eyes softened when he sensed she had a problem, or hell just the special way he used to just look her and only her. An image of how hurt and angry those eyes were the last time she saw them flashed before her eyes and she sighed.  
Swallowing the remaining of her drink, she ordered to the barman a new round of drinks and she let her eyes wander again to the crowd.

Thinking of _him_ was not a smart thing to do when she was just barely managing to avoid depression.

Bulimia though was kinda back and she hated herself even more for that proof that her current state wasn't helping her health. She should have ended this; her relationship with Chuck, she should have. It was only a matter of official treatment that held her back and something vague that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She wondered if that was love or some lingering romantic feelings that just wouldn't go away. But even if that was the case she knew they weren't solid based, they weren't towards who Chuck was but rather towards how she would like him to be. She knew now that Chuck was far from the prince she had thought she had found in him, very far from it. Sometimes she had the suspicion that she hated him because he reminded her of herself - a self which she had grown to despise these days.

She constantly reminded to herself that she was strong, stronger than depression when the walls started caving in. She really doubted that a new Dan Humphrey would come along to help her fix her life - herself - this time around though.

_How very wrong she was indeed._

xxx

**a/n:** LOL I'm not dead (if you wondered!) and this story has quite a few chapters ahead.. It might be a while before I update it though, because I would like to start working on my other, in-progress, Dair story again (All Roads Lead to Love). For those who read that, the next chapter should be up soon, I've already written most of it. Please review and let me know what you think for this story. Would you like to see more? Thanks for reading!

Victoria

xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**~ Of flowers and red wine ~**

Summary: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.

a/n: Hope you enjoy this installment and please remember to review!

xxx

Days passed by and she couldn't find even a tiny bit of interest to make the effort and actually participate to something. She was procrastinating with her tasks, avoiding communication with externals and trying to overcome the withdrawal she had had again since the _damn_ party. Her thoughts had strayed as if she didn't control her mind; a mix of something surprisingly powerful and yet disappointing and depressing.

Her only companionship these days has been Dorota and that was because the maid demanded her attention constantly and wouldn't leave her focused on her thoughts for long.

If Chuck had noticed, he didn't mention.

Not that he was much around anyway. Most of the time he was out, trying to ensure he earned more and more money and power over the world. It was unsettling to think that not long ago she used to be very similar to him.

Blair's thoughts strayed again, trying to pinpoint the moment she had changed; the moment when all this had started to seem futile and idiotic. She couldn't place it on an exact occasion, however she knew this transformation had began when she had started being friends with Dan Humphrey.

She drank the rest of her tea and swallowed the remaining slices of her cake in quick bites. After a minute of trying to resist nausea, she made her way to the bathroom resigned.

xxx

It was the day that the newspaper had a very surprising article that Blair's disposition perked up somewhat.

The headline read: "_**The last few days of innocence" to be turned into a movie.**_

Which of course didn't say much until she noticed _his _name mentioned in the paragraph below.

_**Author: Daniel Humphrey.**_

Of course he would go and turn out to be successful, _of course_ _he would_. She scoffed inwardly. She leaned over the newspaper eager to read the accompanying text.

After five minutes she had memorized it all.

_He was coming back._ In New York, to supervise the shooting of the movie based on his latest book.

She felt elated although she didn't understand why. She would most probably not run into him in those 2 months he was staying – she didn't visit Brooklyn anymore, although she doubted he would stay in his former flat after his great success anyway. Plus, even if she met him, he wouldn't spare her a second look after the way she had treated him a year ago.

It wasn't as if she wanted to see him again either. She had enough guilt stored inside her to last for a lifetime. She was afraid to meet him after all this time; if he was empty or sad she would feel even guiltier, and if he was happy she would be even more depressed.

_No_. She wouldn't try to meet him for her own sake. In fact, she would ensure she stayed inside for the duration of his stay just to make it certain.

Blair took a sip of her coffee and ate a bite of the pumpkin pie. She concentrated on swallowing and took another sip of coffee. She ate successfully the rest of the pie until the door opened four minutes later and Chuck stepped into the room.

She hurried to the bathroom at once.

xxx

She _didn't_ stay inside.

On the contrary; she had taken to roam all over the streets of Manhattan in the hopes of running into the shooting, in spite of her silent promise to herself.

She was desperate to see him again, to try to explain why she had acted that way, to reason with him and make it up to herself or both. She was so focused on the effort of locating him, that she hadn't thought exactly what was her motive or her ultimate goal; what she wanted as an outcome of the encounter.

Did she want to be friends with him again? Most certainly.

Did she want _him_ _back_? She couldn't answer that.

All she knew those days was that she wanted to - actually _had to_ \- see him again just this once.

She was barely in the house and only went back at night in order to get some sleep and start all over again the next day. Sometimes she dragged Dorota with her on the streets and sometimes she didn't.

Blair wondered if Dorota actually suspected the reason she was so many hours outside – wandering in the streets. She hadn't told anyone but her maid was bound to find out eventually. She didn't complain once however. She just made sure to provide Blair with large breakfast, especially the days on which she didn't escort her out.

In her forlorn hope to find Dan Humphrey, she had barely had any signs of bulimia after breakfast, although each night that she came back with zero results on her futile search, she visited the bathroom more often than not.

XXX

It was the eleventh day of her attempt to find him that she got desperate and depressed all over again.

Since she had woken up this morning, she had this bugging feeling that she would run into him this day, that she would see him even from afar. Her hopes had been up and her adrenaline was rising throughout the day, until the night fell and she had remained yet again with no sign of him. She gave way to tears this afternoon and she couldn't even place the reason behind them. She wasn't certain why she wanted to meet him so desperately. She didn't hold the impression that everything would be magically fixed if she did.

She started walking around without a purpose or destination; resigned and focused again on her thoughts. Her tears had drained from her face, her vision felt blurry and her mind was hazed. It was a wonder she wasn't hit by a car or didn't fall onto any stranger. She stopped walking after a while although she didn't mean to do that. She looked up to see where her steps had led her.

455 Water Street. Brooklyn.

She felt her lips curl up in the corners into a sad smile. She entered the building and got up the elevator to the apartment No 6 without second thoughts. When the doors of the elevator opened, she was astonished that had entered the loft yet again without knocking or unlocking the thing. It felt like she invaded the owner's privacy, although she wasn't aware if the place was rent or even sold after Dan's departure last year. Blair proceeded to the kitchen looking around with sorrow and grief, because every corner held a different memory and all of them were either happy or meaningful.

Everything seemed as it had been before; like time hadn't moved at all since she last was in this house. Her stare embraced the room, scrutinizing thoroughly every corner, while her fingers traced the surface of the counter in which they had sat many times enjoying homemade waffles or pancakes and morning coffee. Strangely enough there was no hint of dust on it. As soon as she made this thought she heard noise and lifted her head instantly.

_There he was. _Dan Humphrey had just stepped out of what she knew to be his bedroom, dressed in plaid shirt and blue jeans. His face held the remains of a smile which faded at once when he spotted her.

They locked eyes and it was as if nothing else existed in the world; as if no time had passed since she had last been with him. Astonishment, joy, guilt, regret, despair, hope and remorse were some of the feelings that emerged inside her at once. Only the first one of those reflected in his eyes however, among others which she didn't bother identifying. They hurt even when she couldn't name them.

Another person came out behind him and Blair shifted her stare to them. It was a beautiful young woman who was smiling, as Dan had been before he saw her. The fact that they had shared a smile over something she didn't know made her feel instantly jealous and she decided she couldn't bear it, however she didn't make a move to go. She felt lonelier that ever before and she lived the scene as if she was isolated behind an invisible barrier.

She wasn't there; she didn't live _that_.

The spell was lifted as soon as the other woman whispered something to Dan and he shifted out of his trance. He broke the eye connection and turned for a second to the woman reassuringly. Blair didn't bother hearing what he said. As soon as he lifted his stare of her she made a run for the lift and when finally the doors closed behind her, she collapsed inside the elevator feeling empty and abandoned.

He didn't run after her, but to be fair, she didn't expect him to.

xxx

a/n: So, how was it? You liked, loved or hated it? Please let me know. It's been a while since I started this story and I would like to know if someone still follows it. I know it is quite depressing but it needs to be done this way at this point. Let me know your thoughts please.

On another note, I understand that my updating dates are all over the place, but I would like to assure you that ALL of my stories will be completed eventually. I won't abandon them even if it takes some time for me to update them. I'm doing the best I can at the moment. Bear with me please

Victoria


	3. Chapter 3

**~ Of flowers and red wine ~**

Summary: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.

a/n: I own nothing, yet again. So, another chapter is up within a week! You can tell that I am trying to compensate for my long absence, so please leave me a few words after you read this. :) (ps. I've fixed the title of Dan's book in the previous chapter and now it is named "The last few days of innocence".)

xxx

For the rest of the night she was a mess; she ate as much as she could get and all night long forced herself to throw up between her sobs and tears. It didn't matter however, food did nothing to console her and all the tears in the world couldn't change the current situation.

It was all her fault and she knew it. She had actually initiated the encounter. Why did she have to seek him out? Hadn't she already concluded that whatever the outcome, it couldn't be good for her sake, her health? Why on earth did she break her promise to stay inside?

She didn't have an answer to anything these days. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out until she forgot what she had seen, what she had done or who she was.

She did exactly that the next day only to realize that instead of forgetting, she most certainly remembered everything.

XXX

The day after the next she made up her mind to pay him a visit, if only to excuse herself for intruding to his house the night before. She really just wanted to see him again, to make sure that her eyes hadn't deceived her; that he indeed was happy with some other woman and that she, Blair, was unwelcome in his life.

So, after having Dorota fix her breakfast and carefully prepare her outfit, she went out hopping that he would be there and that he would allow her to talk, maybe even explain. She made quick work of going to Brooklyn, hiring a taxi and all, and some time later she stood again outside his loft gathering all the courage she could summon in order to ring the bell this time.

It felt strange; she had never rang before. She was relieved to see Dan opening the door, she didn't know what she would have said if someone else did. If he was surprised this time, he didn't show it. Instead, she would say that he might even have expected her to show up. He didn't greet her, but he made that instinctive move as if to motion her to enter. She did and regretted it at once. That other girl was there, sitting barefoot on the couch, informally dressed unlike Blair. The fact highlighted how things were at the moment; the girl was familiar and she was an outsider, a stranger.

Blair turned to Dan trying to pretend she didn't care for the presence of the woman. "I hope I'm not intruding this time." she said sounding somewhere between ironic and defensive.

"You actually rang and I let you in so I would say no. "

"Can we talk?" When she saw that he was about to reject she hurried to add "It won't take long."

He contemplated her proposal for a minute.

"Alright. Em we're gonna go for a walk, I'll be back in ten". He motioned to the woman. His stare seemed to search for confirmation. The woman nodded.

"Actually I would prefer it if we stayed here."

"Then I will take that walk instead. I'm Emily by the way" finished the girl smiling awkwardly while putting on her shoes. "Don't take too long." she said to Dan and gave him a peck on the cheek on her way out - undoubtedly marking her territory in front of competition.

_It stung. She'd rather didn't know her name either._

"I though it would be better to talk in here…" she started looking around in the room once _Emily_ was gone " This has always been our place".

"That was a long time ago."

"So that has changed, I take it?"

"Lot of things have changed Blair. This is one of them." he stated. "What are you doing here?"

"I'll explain, just give me a moment. This is too much for me. Can we sit?"

"I'd rather not."

_Fine_. She didn't sit either.

She looked around, searching for some inspiration. What was it again that she had come to tell him? Had she prepared a speech on her way here which she had suddenly forgotten? She tried hard to focus on him again and spoke the first thing that came to her mind.

"I've missed you."

It was the truest thing she had uttered in a while and saying it out loud suddenly made it too real. Sure, she had admitted it recently to herself during that party, but actually speaking the words aloud made her realize it even more. Dan however didn't falter nor did he respond, he just stood there and waited.

She cringed. "I'm sorry." _For everything._ "I'm sorry I came around the day before and the way I acted was… I didn't really expect you to be here. In fact I could bet that you wouldn't. I'm just… sorry." she finished lamely.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. Is that it?"

"I… I have to, I _need_ to explain some things to you." He was unresponsive as he stood there arms crossed and lips tightly shut; everything indicated that he was unwilling to participate in this conversation. She didn't really blame him. She made a step towards him and stopped when she saw him shift in discomfort "Dan _please_.. let me explain." she pleaded.

He raised his hand as if to stop her talking, even though she hadn't continued.

"There's no need Blair. Everything belongs in the past and it would be better if it stayed there." he began. "Besides, I'm over it. Over you."

He couldn't have hurt her more if he had cut her flesh open with a knife. His words were so raw, almost physical and she could feel the weight of them cutting her heart open; suffocating her. It was as if every word he spoke was so carefully selected in order to make her wound deeper.

"You are.. over it?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes. I'm not too cut up about it anymore. I think I forgave you long ago. Moved on."

"That is…" _awful_ "…good to hear."

He nodded. "So what did you want Blair?"

She shook her head in denial. The pain was spreading fast and she was getting weak on her knees. She would need something to eat and fast.

"Can I have some water, please?"

He blinked as if he hadn't heard correctly. Then he proceeded to bring a glass to her.

"How is your father and Lily?" she attempted to make conversation. She couldn't stand leaving while he appeared to be so much uncaring and indifferent. She needed to make sure the man she knew was still there somewhere below the surface, that she hadn't destroyed him completely.

"Divorced. Separated."

"Oh. And Jenny, how is Jenny?"

"Away, but happy. Surprisingly, she's getting married soon enough."

_Talk about surprises - pleasant or not._

"Really? That sounds great."

"It is. Jenny has matured enough after she left New York. I'm proud of her."

She nodded and smiled sadly. She decided she needed to leave, she wasn't ready to say anything yet.

"Good, I'd better –

"How's Dorota and Vanya?" he cut her off.

She looked up surprised that he actually dragged the conversation. "They are fine. Dorota is trying to persuade Vanya for another child. It's amusing really."

He laughed. "What about Eleanor and your step-father? Your dad?"

"Mom and Cyrus are traveling around Europe. Dad is in France. I haven't spoken to either in a while."

"Right."

She turned to leave when his voice stopped her once more.

"And what about… Chuck? How is he?"

_Silence_.

Then her lips twitched. "As he's always been, I guess."

"Good." he quipped again.

"Does this... when you said you have forgiven me earlier, did you mean it?"

He unfolded and folded his arms again.

"Yes I did. There's no point in holding grudges. Life continues and eventually everything is a lesson."

"Do you.. do you think we could be… friends again?"

He appeared to consider it for a while before he shook his head negatively.

"There's no point in it. I've grown out of your world and frankly I'm better there. Don't take it the wrong way, but no."

Her jaw slackened and she grimaced slightly but eventually she nodded.

"Are you staying long?"

"Two months, three at most I think. Depends on the work."he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh right, your book. Congratulations by the way."

"You've heard about it? Thank you."

She made a mental note to read it and immediately erased it. She had better leave the past behind, if she could manage. He had obviously had.

Her upper lip twitched again in something that could resemble a smile if it weren't so unsuccessful.

"Goodbye Dan."

She left long before he replied goodbye, still standing rooted to the spot and staring at the door for long after she had left.

XXX

Upon arriving to the penthouse, she passed by a very questioning Chuck and run up to her bedroom. Dorota knocked after a few minutes and entered without her permission.

She carefully approached Blair who was silently sobbing beside her bathroom door.

"Miss Blair? What happened?"

"It's all over Dorota." she said between her sobs "He's changed, he's over it. Out of it." she motioned around with her hands almost hysterically.

She didn't know if Dorota understood anything at all, but the maid didn't inquire further information and for that she was grateful.

"Bring me something to eat, something sweet. Chocolate." she ordered.

Dorota didn't move. Instead she said "No. No eating for you now. Go sleep and everything is fine tomorrow Miss Blair."

She was so miserable she didn't protest. She doubted anything would be better tomorrow; in fact she was certain it wouldn't. She replayed their meeting and conversation over and over in her head as she lied down to her bed and she cried uncontrollably until sleep overtook her much later, around the dawn. Thankfully her sleep was dreamless this time.

She couldn't believe it when Dorota came into her room early the next day, woke her up and told her that Mr. Dan Humphrey had come to visit her.

xxx

a/n: So what did you think of it? Leave me your comments in a review please, they really motivate and inspire me to write faster! This fic seems to flow quite easy at the moment and I'm quite exited to write down my ideas! *crosses fingers not to jinx it* I'm starting writing the next chapter as we speak, so hopefully you won't have to wait too long before you read it!

To anyone wondering about All Roads Lead to Love, I've starting writing the next chapter as well. It goes slower that I would like but I don't want to rush it, so I'll probably let you know through this story when the next chapter will be up. Anyways, thanks for reading!

Victoria


	4. Chapter 4

**~ Of flowers and red wine ~**

Summary: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.

a/n: I hope you enjoy and please don't forget to review!

xxx

For the next ten minutes she fumbled with her pyjamas, her clothes, her hair; ultimately everything. She was fretting over her appearance because if she actually stopped to think for a moment, she would collapse from the stress she was currently under.

Dan was there.

What possible reason did he have to visit her this morning? He had practically given her the cold shoulder yesterday, even though he had assured her that he had in fact forgiven and forgotten. She inwardly scoffed to that notion. Surely, if he had indeed forgiven her, he would have had no objection to them being friends again. On the other hand though, she could understand that her friendship had absolutely nothing to offer him, whereas _his _friendship meant a lot more to her.

Not wanting to wait any longer in order to learn what he had to say, Blair came down at the foyer where Dan was currently standing, staring absently at a vase with fresh peonies Dorota had just set there this morning.

She silently approached him and summoned the voice from somewhere down her throat which had suddenly become dry.

"Dan?"

Dan instantly turned on his heels to face her. He seemed surprised, although she wondered why that was. He _was_ here to see her after all, wasn't he?

"Hey…" he voiced somewhat husky as well. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"Not at all." she dismissed with a casual wave of her hand. "Why are you here? What did you want?"

He seemed to hesitate before he brought his right hand in front. She stared at the paper bag - her curiosity loud - until he spoke again.

"It's my latest book. You told me yesterday that you've heard about it and I thought to bring you a copy." He explained and held out the bag for her to take it. She eyed the bag again deep in thought. She was astonished and confused by his offer, which he must have understood because he hurried to add "Unless you've read it already?"

Blair shook her head in denial. "No, no I haven't." She took the bag, pulled the book out and read the title to herself.

_The last few days of innocence. _

"It's not about me again, is it?" she joked.

He smiled. "No, no it isn't actually."

"Why did you bring it to me then?"

"I figured I owned you that much. The book is not about you or anyone you know, but it probably wouldn't be written if it weren't for you. "

She got now what he was trying to say. If she hadn't acted the way she had last year, if she hadn't hurt him that much, he wouldn't have been inspired to write it. Hell, the title even matched the concept, didn't it?

"Oh." she huffed. "I'll make sure I'll read _that one_ then." she jested, hinting to the fact that she still hadn't read _Inside_.

"Please do, I promise that all characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental." he actually quoted and smiled.

The smile returned to her lips too and didn't falter even long after he had left.

xxx

The book was interesting and absorbing. It was set in the medieval times and described the life and love of a young couple, Kenneth and Beatrix, who struggled to get together, but their families and circumstances always kept them apart. By the third chapter, she had already understood that the couple wouldn't get their happy ending and she didn't like it one bit. She had considered then cheating and going straight to the end to actually make sure what the ending was. But she figured she owned Dan to actually read his book this time and she felt that the characters and the story had a lot more to say still.

So, she kept on reading, intrigued with the way Dan wrote the tale and the deep emotions it evoked inside her. Beatrix was strong and level-headed while Kenneth was more impulsive and romantic and they seemed to form the perfect match. 8 hours non-stop reading and a span of seven years over the story had proved that much. Yet, although Dan had said that this time his book was fictional, she couldn't hold back the feeling that Beatrix could have very well be her and Kenneth resembled Dan at some level. It wasn't obvious; someone else might have missed it, but while the circumstances were totally different, the link was apparent nonetheless.

She dreaded the ending that was coming quicker and quicker as she turned each page, however she needed to get to it as soon as possible, in order to see what conclusion Dan had reserved for them.

xxx

It was her turn to and seek him out this time.

She found her self in Brooklyn, outside his building, just the day after his visit. Him gifting her the book had granted her that right and she very much intended to fully exploit it as it came.

Her gift in return was a bottle of Sloan Proprietary Red from Napa Valley, which served as a token for the book's success in the market and its personal success to her taste. She would tip him her hat if she wore one, but the wine had to do.

Dan appeared at the door at the second ring, as if on cue to her visit. He must have known that if she had actually bothered to read the book, she would have finished it by today and was probably expecting her current visit. He motioned her to enter with his head and she was pleased to see that he seemed to be alone this time.

"I came to offer my compliments for your writing. A token much deserved." she said while she put forth the bottle in his coffee table.

"Well have a seat then Waldorf." Dan said as he moved to the kitchen. He returned with two wine glasses and a corkscrew and sat opposite of her on the sofa.

Blair took the seat as he offered her one glass.

"To your success." she made the toast.

"To Kenneth and Beatrix." he offered instead.

"If only." she commented with half a smirk. Sitting here, across Dan Humphrey after everything that had happened between them, seemed very surreal and yet so real that she relished in the feelings of the moment.

He smirked too. "So how did you like the story? If you liked it at all, that is."

"Are you serious?" she questioned "Of course I liked it. I couldn't put the damn thing down at some point. Although I confess I didn't like the ending."

He didn't seem to be surprised. "Any specific reason?"

"Kenneth and Beatrix were the couple in a million to have found true love and every single thing that happened in the book, proved that to the maximum degree. I could feel for Beatrix until she accepted to marry that rich guy in order to save Kenneth from the wrath of her family. Kenneth was supposed to be her soulmate."

"I could argue that it was the other way around, that Beatrix was Kenneth's soulmate, but after all they ended up together." he offered.

"It wasn't the same though, was it? Beatrix actually betrayed him twice throughout the story."

"And how is that?"

"Well, to start with, she married someone else even though she claimed she loved only him. She went as far as to have a child into that marriage and if her first husband hadn't died she wouldn't have left him for Kenneth, am I wrong?"

"What do you propose she could have done when their love was bombarded all the time by everyone other than themselves?"

"She should have stayed loyal to him." she said and realized that, in a deeper level, both Dan and her were talking and criticizing the past year. Humidity gathered in her lids but she refused to let the tears flow. "She should have stayed loyal." she repeated in a whispering tone.

"Well she didn't." he replied as-a-matter-of-fact.

The implication that even if they got together after everything it wouldn't be the same for them either, was never voiced, but it was simmering just below the surface nevertheless.

xxx

The opportunity to see him again the next day was there, but this time Blair hesitated to grab it. While yesterday she was surprised and pleased that they had been able to get along and talk about things merely as peers, the emotions were bittersweet if not only bitter.

At last, after all this time, she was actually getting what she had wished for, but essentially not in the form she had wanted to get it. Dan was polite and seemingly easy-going although distant, he offered intelligent conversation, but eventually something lacked, something was missing. Apparently, even though Dan had taken the first step to reach out to her, he wasn't investing much in them this time around. Just a bit of his time and a piece of his character and she wouldn't be satisfied if she didn't get the "whole cake", metaphorically speaking.

Today, the first shooting of the movie based on his book was taking place and surprisingly he had invited her to that prior leaving his loft the day before. She was already dressed and ready but she was yet in her room, before the mirror, still trying to decide if she should attend it or not, if she could make it through it.

"Miss Blair?"

She grimaced and instantly snapped out of her trance. "What is it Dorota?"

"Mr Chuck asks me you to accompany him to a meeting now."

Her face fell and she sighed. She started to descend the stairs, Dorota keeping up just a step behind, when something flashed inside her and coaxed her not to behave like Beatrix did in the book, like she had done in the past yet again.

She was adamant that the shooting would be important to Dan and consequently it was important for her not to miss it. Forget the meeting; she had a shooting to attend to.

And a life to get slowly back.

xxx

a/n: Thanks to everyone who read/reviewed/followed ect the previous chapters! Please remember to leave a comment after reading and let me know what you think about the story so far; it's the only thing I get for writing it after all

Victoria


	5. Chapter 5

**~ Of flowers and red wine ~**

Summary: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.

a/n: I hope you enjoy and please don't forget to review! I'm really sorry for the huge delay.

xxx

The shooting was taking place in a wealthy, old manor in the suburbs and Blair arrived there in almost no time. Her eyes scanned the crowd for the familiar figure, but her senses got there first. A tiny tingle in the back of her neck.

She turned around to face him with a small smile on her lips.

"Good morning, Waldorf"

"Has the filming started yet?"

He almost rolled his eyes. "Not nearly there, the director is having problems with the scenery." He shrugged his shoulders. "And to think I got professionals this time" he smirked hinting to another place and shooting they had both attended in the past for _Inside_.

He started walking towards the crew and she naturally fell into step beside him.

For the next ten or twenty minutes, Dan gave instructions to the director and tried to make him see some sense. Paul Reed though, was adamant to his opinion about something and Dan was growing more agitated by the minute.

"If I may interrupt, what exactly is the problem Mr. Reed?" she jumped in, wishing to avoid the burst that she foresaw coming.

"Excuse me, but who is this anyway?" he actually mocked at her.

"_This_ is Blair Waldorf." Dan cut in warningly.

"Humphrey thank you, but I've got this one" she said to Dan; still staring Reed dead in the eye. "I'm here to assist Dan Humphrey to the shooting if you don't mind. I suppose you are the director of the film?" Her tone was purposefully icy, laced with a hint of irony.

"Yes I am."

"Then do the job you are hired to do and stop whining. Humphrey wrote this novel and he gave his permission to turn it into a movie. He's here and he's telling you how things should be, how he wrote them and why. _This_ made the book a success. Are you stupid enough to defy his instructions?"

Reed dropped his jaw and stared at her in disbelief. Albeit, he didn't refute her.

"I thought so too." she agreed to his silent acceptance and turned to wander in the manor instead.

Dan came to find her fifteen minutes later with a huge smile written upon his features.

"Wow, Waldorf. What was that back there?"

"Merely nothing, you don't have to mention it."

"Reed is humming and simmering; I suggest you avoid him for the rest of the day. He has a few choice words to describe you, you know." he teased and for a moment, it was as if no time have passed since the two supervised the shooting of _Inside_.

They locked stares; she swallowed visibly hard and then Dan loudly cleared his throat as if to break the spell.

They both turned towards the crew that was ready to start filming the very first scene of the new movie.

Blair almost smiled recalling the past "Do you want me to hold your hand for support?"

Dan laughed "Worry not, I've still got Cedric."

xxx

The rest of the filming flowed actually really well and without interruptions of the bad sort. The actors were brilliant and managed to convey the characters' feelings, mainly through face expressions rather than the script itself. Everyone had started gathering their things in order to leave, when they got a few minutes alone together.

"I have to admit that you have made a great choice with the actors, Humphrey. I mean look at Charlize, she's the perfect cast for Beatrix!"

"It actually was Reed's choice and not mine; he made a great job with the casting. I'm really glad you like them; I meant to ask of your opinion about it in the morning when you came, but then Reed happened and…" he fell silent.

"You didn't get the chance." she completed for him.

"Exactly." he nodded "I also wanted to thank you for your interference with the director, it made my job so much easier."

She smiled dismissing him "Since the shooting is over and apparently was successful, maybe… we could have a glass of wine or two, maybe?"

Dan hesitated to answer. "I'd… rather…maybe next time? I'm tired and have to think about tomorrow's shooting...Besides, Emily is waiting for me at the loft, I've got to get going." He stood opposite her, still somewhat hesitant to leave. "Will you be alright? Leaving alone and all?"

"Of course." She said, nodding out of principle.

"Goodnight, Waldorf."

"You too, Humphrey."

xxx

"Humphrey can I ask you a question?" she asked him one day while in the shooting.

"Fire away Waldorf."

"Back when you gave me this book, you had told me that this story is purely fictional. Do you remember?"

"Yeah."

"But how can it be? Beatrix and Kenneth are.._us_, aren't they?"

"No they aren't. They are not the same story."

"How can you say that? We are so much alike them!"

"Whatsoever, there might exist some resemblance to the characters, but the story is different."

"How is it so Humphrey? Apart from the baby part, which in my case didn't end up well, it is absolutely the same story."

"No it isn't. For one, Kenneth didn't fight for Beatrix, _I_ did it for you. Secondly, the ending is different."

"They end up together." She almost whispered.

"Exactly."

xxx

"Do you think giving flowers to a girl is outdated these days?" he asked casually a few days later.

"Excuse me?"

"Do you think that flowers are considered an outdated gift nowadays?" Dan repeated.

Her eyebrows rose high in her forehead.

"I would say it depends on the occasion. And the girl, of course. Humphrey, whom do you plan to impress if I may ask?"

"...Nobody." When he saw her doubtful look he hurried to add "I mean it. No one...The question was hypothetical. Totally."

"Well hypothetically speaking, all women like flowers. The thing is that not all women like the same flowers. Some dislike roses, or violets or daisies and some love orchids or-

"Peonies."

Her heart leapt inside her chest immediately. "Yes, exactly".

"Emily likes peonies." He added as an afterthought.

Her smile, that had just begun to form, faltered. "Of course she would. Get her purple Humphrey; it will match her crimson hair." She finished up resigned.

xxx

When a bouquet of fresh white peonies arrived at her house the next week, she brushed of every thought as a coincidence. She passed by the flowers and searched for Dorota who in the end was found in the kitchens, arranging a different bouquet in a vase.

"What is happening today Dorota? What's with all these flowers in the house?"

"Miss Blair! You scared me!"

"And I didn't even try it yet. Do tell." She commanded.

"Mister Humphrey, lonely boy again, sent lilies for the baby. The peonies are for you."

Her jaw slackened and she made double effort to comprehend the information. "What do you mean he sent them for the baby? How does he know you are pregnant again? I never told him".

"I did it Miss. He gives me new book, I gave good news. He smiled."

Blair said nothing; she rather rushed to the flowers in the living room. A small white envelope was attached to the bouquet and she hurried to open it in case Chuck was around the house. Not that she cared; she just didn't want to ruin the moment.

_It was only appropriate for the girl and the occasion. _

She kept the flowers in the living room and stayed there all day to admire them. The note, she kept well hidden in her right pocket, as much close to her heart as possible.

xxx

"What is it Humphrey?" she asked when he handed her a white envelope one day, walking towards her house after they had left the shooting.

"Why, open it then Waldorf, if you are too curious about it." he replied smirking.

She did as he told and her breath caught in her throat, while she stopped walking in the effort to read it.

"Jenny is getting married in just over two weeks." he said smiling. "She asked me to give you the invitation."

"How is this possible?" she inquired. "Jenny must still hate me; I banished her from her house for God's sake!"

"Jenny says that if you hadn't banned her from the city, she wouldn't have moved on. In a way she believes that she owes you, because her life only got better after leaving New York. The invitation doesn't include your fiancé though."

She turned her stare down to the invitation again. "I see… Thank you for handing it to me Humphrey, though I am afraid I can't attend the wedding."

"Jenny wants you to be there."

"Jenny did the right thing inviting me to it; I will do the right thing by not showing up."

"I would like to see you there." he pressed on.

Her eyes watered just the moment when they reached the street of her penthouse. She lifted her eyes and saw the lights in Chuck's office on.

She would have _loved_ to see Dan Humphrey at the wedding.

"Send her my best wishes. Goodnight, Humphrey."

He waited there until she was safely inside her house and possibly at her fiancé's arms for all that he knew.

xxx

a/n: Thank you for reading. It's been so long, but things kept me from writing anything at all for quite some months now. I hope you are still following the story. Review and let me know your thoughts.

Victoria


	6. Chapter 6

**~ Of flowers and red wine ~**

Summary: A story about forgiveness, redemption and peonies. Dan and Blair.

**a/n**: This is the last chapter of this story so enjoy and please don't forget to leave a final comment! Thank you for reading!

xxx

It didn't occur to Blair that the last day of filming meant very probably the last day of Dan Humphrey in New York, until the shooting of Thursday came.

"What are you doing tomorrow night, after the shooting?" he asked her casually while they watched the actors rehearsing some scenes.

"What do you propose I do?"

"I was thinking that, since it's the last day of filming, to throw a party to celebrate the closure of the movie with the cast, crew and... assistants, of course." Dan smirked, playfully raising an eyebrow at her.

"So, I take it I'm not invited there?" she jested.

"Sure you are, didn't you hear me distinctly say assistants?"

"Humphrey, you do realize that I'm not here as an assistant right? In that case I would have to be paid to be present, which I'm not." She replied in a serious tone.

"Then, under which category you fall?"

"Friends and peers not an underling." Blair stated.

Dan laughed out loud. "Be that as it may, are you coming?"

"I'll have to consider my agenda first." She teased, but nodded confirmingly at the same time.

xxx

One day and a few hours later, Blair was in her penthouse, inside her room-closet, trying to decide what she should wear that night.

It would be formal but not too much, he had said, which in her opinion didn't say much.

Frustrated, she discarded her pastel mint laced evening gown; she tossed aside the white knee-length afternoon one and several other decent attires, until she settled on a simple black dress with lace on the neckline and sleeves.

"That will do" she said and handed it to Dorota to get it ready, before selecting a pair of matching Louboutin stilettos to complete her outfit. "I will need them in 50 minutes. Chop-chop!" she said before she opened her bathroom door and stepped into her bathtub.

xxx

The party was already in full swing when Dan arrived, accompanied by Emily. In the next 20 minutes, he had managed to greet everyone in the bar in person and had a few more words with the director and the film producers, before he seated himself beside Emily in the bar and ordered a glass of red wine.

When he first glanced at the time, it had been some minutes after ten o 'clock in the evening. _She_ hadn't arrived yet.

He managed to engage in polite – but boring – conversation with an actor that came to congratulate him on his book. The clock struck midnight. He ordered a second glass of wine and replied to a few questions some random attendee had; he didn't realize which that person was.

Emily was sitting beside him all that time; silently sipping her very first beer when he turned and smiled at her. He led her to the dance floor and entertained the idea to pass a few more hours that way. _She still_ _hadn't arrived._

He ordered his fifth glass of wine around three in the morning, just when the first people started leaving. Emily was staring. By dawn, he had had eight glasses of the same liquid and no hope left that she would show up.

xxx

"Shall I ask what happened back there?" Emily asked with a hint of impatience in her tone as soon as they entered the loft, around seven o'clock in the morning.

Dan tried to concentrate on her face. He passed both hands through his hair before he rubbed the nape of his neck. "What do you mean?" he stammered.

"Please, show me some respect. You know very well what I mean." She clenched her fists and her face flushed. "Is it because of her? Don't lie."

He crossed his arms before him in defense. He could still pretend that he didn't understand, but what use would that be really? Emily wasn't stupid and she certainly didn't deserve that treatment. "What do you want me to say?" he all but admitted her the truth.

"Just be honest and admit that you are still in love with that girl!" She raved. "Let me finally move on if that's still the case!" When he stayed stubbornly silent, she added "Well? Is it?"

"Em, you've been wonderful these past few months and –" he started before she cut him in.

"Don't! Don't gild the pill for me, Dan! Just say that you're still in love with her! Say it!" she commanded.

He complied and finally said it out loud.

xxx

In the next few days he had managed to gather all his recent belongings and sort them out in several boxes scattered around the loft. The movie had finished long ago and he had really no reason to delay his departure any longer.

The day after their fight, Emily had packed her things and left. They didn't exactly part on friendly terms, but he could tell that she was being honest when she wished him happiness. He regretted the way he had broken up things with her, but in all honesty he hadn't planned to fall for Blair all over again.

_Blair._

Once again, he had no word from her at all. Not an apology or an explanation; not even a single message asking how he was doing. How was the party. If he had left the city. _Anything_.

He had contemplated contacting her first; asking her why she didn't show up but had decided against it in the end. Why he should always be the one to seek her out as if everything was his fault? It certainly wasn't his fault this time. If there was a fault at all, that is.

He texted Jenny that he would arrive at Chicago the next day and that he could help her with the wedding stuff if she'd like and she was overjoyed.

_Excellent! I will arrange for dad to pick you up! Any chance you will be making me some grilled cheese with truffles? I've missed it._

_Dad's making it better. I could probably help Andy write his wedding vows, though._

_Stay out of it for your own sake! Did you give Blair the invitation?_

He sighed remembering her refusal to attend. He couldn't say that to Jenny though.

_I did._

_Is she coming then?_

_I wouldn't know._

_Are you ok, Dan?_

_It's cool. I'm fine._

Or he would be soon again at least.

xxx

**_10 days later…_**

Dan put on his shirt and looked himself in the mirror.

This was it, he thought. This was Jenny's day and he should erase that depressed altitude he held the past few days and replace it with a happier expression. It wouldn't be a façade. He was genuinely happy for his sister and if he wasn't so much disappointed of how things with Blair had evolved, he would have been proudly wearing his biggest smile.

He grabbed his suit jacket and wore it on.

She wouldn't be coming to the wedding, of course. Although he had never mentioned that to Jenny, Blair had clearly stated that she wouldn't show up. He couldn't help but feel uneasy today though; only the fact that she knew the wedding location and time was enough to give him the slightest hope that she may had changed her mind and she would come.

_I would like to see you there._

He breathed out and straightened his tie before he got out of his room to join the others.

xxx

He was secretly moved by the wedding vows Jenny wrote for Andy.

_You challenged me to be a better person and you stood there for me while I strived to get myself back. Even my past seems worth it for the sole reason that had I done anything differently, I may have never met you. _

It seemed his little sister had found her soulmate, her mentor, her best friend and he was extremely happy for her.

Blair didn't come at the wedding, but that was…_ok _somehow_._

This time his smile wasn't forced when he stood by the couple giving them his best wishes.

xxx

Chicago wasn't really her town, and for that reason she was grateful that the taxi driver had known the address to the venue and she had made it to the celebration in time.

She recognized Rufus Humphrey standing very close to the entrance and she made her way towards the other side of the estate in order to avoid him. There were so many attendees - little Jenny had managed to be very popular as it seemed - that she doubted that she would be able to locate Dan Humphrey before someone asked her what she was doing there, drawing attention to herself. She had the invitation of course, but she'd rather spoke to Dan before she met anyone else she knew.

Apparently she was in luck because she had just spotted him standing to a secluded corner, next to a flower stand, all alone.

xxx

He couldn't believe his eyes when she finally stood before him, only minutes later. He drunk her in; willing himself to get rid of the hallucinations withdrawal was causing, but Blair was still there, solid in front of him.

"You came."

"Indeed. I hope I'm not very much late."

"The wedding is almost over." he managed to voice.

"I wasn't speaking of the wedding, Humphrey."

No further explanation was really needed; the reason why she came to find him was written all over her face. He stood there speechless until she spoke again.

"I finally got rid of everything that held me behind and miserable." she said and made a pause to emphasize her words.

His heart leapt and started singing inside of him. She raised her left hand which was now free of her engagement ring. "I think I'm ready to be happy again, Dan."

Dan reached out hesitantly and intertwined their palms together. He grabbed a single red rose from the decorated stand beside him and handed it to Blair. Blair took it and smiled.

_Even my past seems worth it for the sole reason that had I done anything differently, I may have never met you._

"I could have waited for you for the rest of my life." he said sincerely.

"Luckily, it won't be necessary."

**.THE END.**

**a/n**: Extremely long author's note ahead! Thank you for reading. I'm once again very late in updating, but I hope you are still following the story. Please review and let me know your thoughts for this final chapter! I really enjoyed writing this story.

_All Roads Lead to Love_ has also the next few chapters planned already in detail, if you're wondering, so as soon as I finish posting this I will go back to updating that story again.

On another note, I have already started working on two new Dair plots that I had in mind the last few months. I provide the summary of the first story below, so please let me know if you're interested in reading more of it!

**Summary: **After Blair makes clear to everyone, that her kissing Dan twice meant nothing, Dan tries to console his own feelings and move on. While a new girl catches his attention at W, he enlists Blair to help him win her heart. Blair accepts and starts a project on training Dan to be the guy every woman would fell for. When nothing goes as planned, Blair will discover which was the biggest fault in her plan.

So, until next time,

Victoria


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